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. >> that's a sober commentary on the economic collapse of america. >> yeah, why did you think i wouldn't be able to do something like that. >> dana, if you were the producer, i would ask you the same question. you look especially dapper. >> as do you. >> i wear this sweater to tell america it is okay to hug me. >> i feel like i am in a gay sandwich right now. >> no one knows what that means, dana. >> answer the question. >> i think that it is interesting that you can't cook up a really good men nis for america. we are a country that wants an exsew essential men nis. we miss our mennace and the chinese don't pass the test. china doesn't have a mass culture and their big idea is now capitalism which is our idea. if anything, greg, it is the other way around. >> wow. interesting. >> i know you can talk. shouldn't they just play it safe and instead of the chinese or north korean just pick like big foot or red headed people? >> yeah, and i heard the new movie "mars needs moms" and when it comes out it will be an outer space and that way you don't offend mothers or fathers and hollywood is k
america could be facing big trouble in little chinese. and donald trump proves he is more than a guy whose businesses go bankrupt as he digs himself deeper into a bigger hole. what is going on under his hair, straight ahead. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> happy lemon chiffon cake day. >> the secret is beating the egg white separate from the yolk and using vegetable oil instead of shortening. >> many question the difference between lemon cake and lemon chiffon cake is the oil. it produces a lighter, moister texture. >> chiffon cake was invented by an insurance agent. i don't know about you, but it is good to see he put a premium on cakes. >> i believe you are speaking of the apartmently named harry baker, greg. >> your face is a pie of pain. >> i apologize for nothing. >> go away. let's welcome our guests. >>> i'm here with mary smith. that's a great name. i tried to google it and came up with a million old ladies. i am not joking. who said, you said .com co-founder. she is so sharp she is banned from the macy's thanksgiving day parade. and joe devito. if hilarity was a spare tire i would kee
this is a stain on america. >> an absolute stain on america. i want to talk about a brilliant quote that is attributed to the israeli and very wise man. and i'm sure you will agree with it. if you are young and not liberal you have no heart. if you are old and not conservative, you have no brain. i think it is very true. what makes america great is it lets young people vote. what makes places like china suck is there is no clue what is going on. >> but these people -- you realize these people can vote. they just have to vote where they are from. >> but you are saying you are franchising them. i come from a country where there are university towns. it didn't mean margaret thatcher didn't get in. she still got in. >> here is the reason. we are not disenfranchising, they just have to go where they live. because, and i will direct this to you, matt, why should citizens living in their town be subjected to the consequences of outsiders voting? if some kid comes in and votes for a higher tax and then goes back home, you have to pay the tax. >> exactly. we -- you talk over this town and de
europe, south america and bill shultz. >> allegedly. >> according to the u.n factually, coca production went from 23,600 in 2003 to 27,500hectares in 2006 which would mean something if i knew what a hectare was. i think it is an ingrown hair. anyway, obama can't give back the prize because that would imply it is worth something to give back. if you remember the pointlessness of the prize is why obama got it in the first place. it is the world's most over rated door stop given as a symbolic rejection of all who came before him, a bouquet for bush. as an acknowledgment of achievement a spanking carries more weight. fyi, morales won the qaddafi international prize for human rights in 2006 which is like winning the prize for best stew. funny how the foreigners who believe obama deserve that prize are the people who want it back. they are saps who assumed obama was a bigger idea than the country he governs. that's why they should stick to smuggling bricks of coke. it comes in bricks, right? >> i don't know. >> if you disagree with me, you are worse than hitler. >> tucker, welcome to the prog
. let's go to our preview report with andy levy. >> is america on the bench replace i had by the french? and pj crowellly resigns after criticizing the treatment of criticizing the treatment of . the shocking story that will make you go, eh. and we will investigate what it will do for the sale of ankle cream. >> thank you, april de. >> drop and give me 20, andy. >> always asking for money. schwa you know -- >> you know it. >> your face is a commode. >> i apologize for nothing. >> why should you? >> well done, people. >>> let's welcome our guest. she makes every room a steam room. i am here tonight with sc cup, author, columnist and host of the sc cup show. and he stinks of bill shultz because he is bill shultz, my repulsive sidekick. there he is. and he is so manly that iron pumps him. it is mike baker, former cia operative. i don't know what diligence is still, i think it is a racing horse. and the investors are heaving because investors are leaving. good to see you pinch. >> hope you don't mind, but i brought my intern so you can appreciate what conservative bias looks like. say hello
not the federal reserve. from new york, good night, america. [ applause ] >> that is an awful pun. how do you live with yourself? >> you tweeted that earlier today. >> i sure did. >> you are a maze of pain and apathy. >> i apologize for nothing. >> go away. i said go away. >>> let's welcome our guest. she is so british that big ben asks her for the time. i am here with imogen lloyd webber. she is so cute that strawberry short cake sleeps in imogen lloyd webber pajamas. and he is the man from steely dan, the ruby from the due be. the legend dairy musician, jeff "skunk" baxter. he knows tunes like i know prunes. i am not ashamed to say that. and for him the final four refers to his teeth. my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. and he is the gov that everyone loves. sitting next to me, the former arkansas governor mike huckabee. he hosts "huckabee" named after him. it is saturday, which i will be on, and sunday, which i will be on. if you don't own a copy of his book, i want nothing to do with you or your ugly face. and he is an aging crank with sales in the tank. good to see you, pinch
become in america. polarized or awesome? seriously i'm asking because i don't know. another thing i would like to know, are owls camera shy? >> quite the contrary. you never see an owl in doors. andrea, what does this tell us about america? >> well, you said that it is polarizing. every has gone crazy. they are just a bunch of idiots. although there are a lot of similarities. they get their message out on the internet. i know you are getting nervous. >> no, i am digging this. >> they both take to the web when they push out their messages, and they are both largely in support of female candidates. they go out and scout their talents, true? >> that is true. very cogent point. thank god i took a sedative. good to see you. >> i think you messed up the name a little bit. >> i uh pop. - i apologize for that. >> you knew you would do it. >> i thought about it and i always do that and screw it up. >> that sounds like a delicious soda. >> it is a chocolate, highly-decaffeinated drink. >> it is all good. >> how would a sheen presidency appear to you? what do you think it would be like? >> i don't t
in america. it has turned the world upside down. >> it really has. i haven't been able to sleep for a week. it is obviously irritating. you don't have to burn yourself alive. >> to me it reminded me of the protestor with the daisy going up to the -- >> it is terrible. it was kent state all over again. >> crystal, what did you make of it? was it an outrageous outrage that made you outraged? >> i am continually outraged by this absolute abuse of government of power. and this is exactly the reason why i want the federal government to do everything. keep the local government off my street on my yard et cetera. the federal government should regulate everything. 245* would take care of the problem. >> that's an interest interesting point of view. >> i think the founding fathers when they were establishing everything, they said, this is what we want the local governments to do, to rip up basketball poles. >> it is in the constitution, right? >> i don't think it is until the turn of the 19th century. >> it was invented by benjamin franklin. >> he was out there trying to find electricity and he was
a great idea this was. and that only the rest of america would do this. >> the rest of america already does this. this is the fruit of 30 years of encouraging minority groups to think of themselves in racial terms of the -- in terms. this is asian heritage day and it is creepy. it is actually awful. what is the argument against it using the logic of the left? >> is this guy smart enough to use the logic of the left, or is he a biggot? >> i think we can be safe in saying he is a racist punk. but a racist punk with a point. it is sort of reducing the logic of multi-culturalism. what he doesn't understand is they they are having affirmative action for young men. the gurls are being admitted to colleges by a six-four ratio. they have affirmative action programs they don't mention for white men. >> really? >> yes. i have a book about this. >> i know. what are the programs? what do they call them this -- them? siting on the couch watching beer 101? >> they are too dumb to watch tv. they watch their beer according to you. >> we will get letters, bill. men don't write letters. remi you only ha
>> glenn: from new york, good night america. >>> welcome to redeye. he threw the best thing of his life for some pretty girl. let's go to a pre-game report. andy what is coming up. >> president obama with tough talk to muammar khadafy but does he understand english? and wisconsin police and firefighters let businessmen know that they will boycott. shocking story that will make you buy and gun and fire extinguisher. >> thank you andy. >> pillsbury doughboy, at some point he needs to grow up and be doughboy. >> i have an uncle. also worked at bakery. >> yeah. >> he killed himself. >> your face is sand box of bloom. >> that is nothing. >> let's welcome our guests. >> i really hate him. hey, with a smile. i am here with attorney so hot with lipstick. and funnier of clown meat. carl zan looking good in the jean jacket and gray hair. and things that smell, his side kick and sitting next to me, co-hosting and he is gladly take your load ever sunday and he smells of mold beneath the fold. "new york times" correspondent. >> my teenage intern, cameraman will you please zoom in latch laugh. >
are the person america worries about? >> absolutely. >> for more reasons than one. >> who is right, rutgers or america? >> i don't know. i performed at woodstock 1994. they had co-ed showers. it just turn turned out to be 40 anxious men waiting for a woman to wander in. my friend was outside and he would throw mud on himself. then one guy quacked in. every other man left the shower. it was like, i can't compete with that. apparently mine is cold. >> imagine you are back in college. would you share a room with a dude? >> i sort of did. it was college and there is a lot going on. i don't know who belonged in which room. >> what are you saying is you don't know who your roommate was. >> it may be difficult speaking of the ras mu son poll. it may be difficult if you are living with a girl to polish your -- >> i know where you are going. you could have benefited greatly by living with another sequential haphrodite in college? >> there is only one. i am the last of my kind. i am the mow he kens. i have heard people say 70% of americans think they shouldn't be in. once you get past the fact you wi
♪ >> bret: -- >> glenn: america, it's time to prepare. e-2. educate yourself. we'll see you tomorro >>> welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. the media equivalent of a delicious par facial. let's go to andy levy for a pre game president are. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> is president obama fiddling while the world burns? probably not want to cancel a pride parade in london's east end? and finally, former "jersey shore" star says the situation is gay. >> thank you, andy. >> how is your eyes, greg? >> wouldn't know had them removed when i was 12. >> does president make sense. >> your face is an orb of suffering. >> i apologize for nothing. >>> she is so hot she cries tabasco sauce, and boy does she cry. i am here with the military .com relationship expert. yeah, they have one and the co-host of the dvd afro deesh yak. and he is the author and new york magazine interest cring editor of -- the new york magazine editor. and don't adjust your set, he and always that yellow. it is my sidekick and hepatitis sidekick, bill shultz. and next toy moorks none other that nick gillespi
? from new york, defending freedom. so long, america. >>> well xome to "red eye." tag, please don't tamper with the suction fittings. let's go to andy levy with a pre game report. what's coming up tonight? >> our top story tonight, president obama ends a two-year ban on military tribunals at guantanamo bay. just kidding, our top story is charlie sheen. and where have all of the cowboy poets gone? and finally want president obama to speak at your commencement? commencement? this is it, the old pancake tuesday. >> your face is a bucket of dispair. >> i apologize for nothing. >> go away. >>> all right, let's welcome our guest. isn't she adorable? i am here with jill dobson. she is so breathtaking she is considered the prime cause of asthma. yeah, a hated woman among asthmatics. and he is always outspoken about a world that is broken. the comedian nick dapaula. and dirty syringes refuse to share him. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. and someone just looted goodwill. sitting next to me is the legendary professor, author and actor of three things, the fourth installment of his
that, america. it was a cause. >> sequential hemaphrodite can switch genders. >> you wrote that on your own web page. it is not on wikipedia. >> it is true. >> so when men cannot -- when men cannot perform in the sack, two-thirds think that's when they are over the hill. if that's the case, i have been over the hill five years ago. stop mixing with whisky. learn from me. >> the thing is women have the last laugh. they live roughly 10% longer and how do they live? they live off our insurance policies. they have the last 10 years of their life on sea cruises and piging out on sliced meat. >> but they look like crap. who cares? >> not all of them. >> i'm joking. >> i would like to -- no, i'm joking, but i would like to retort to brooke's point since she yelled it in my cheek. it is not true that every 58-year-old guy with a young girl it is a money thing. it is not that. i travel a lot on the road doing comedy. i see it quite frequently. there is a father thing there. there is a protector thing there. there is a provider thing there that goes beyond just financial. >> so either the girls w
't. best organized that win. from new york, good night america. >>> welcome to "red eye. i'm greg gutfeld in for shanks mccoy who is on location in my jacuzzi. be there in an hour, shank and don't take all the pills. now to andy levy for our pre game president are. who are you today, mr. phelps? what's on tonight's show? >> you tell me, robert young. our top story is the guy who killed two american servicemen at frankfurt airport. some say yes, but the state department says who can say, really? and our allstar panel figures out why they don't want to whip the future. and the serial abuser about to make a lot of money because of his twitter account. isn't that america? only two more shows until our pancake show. >> i am laying out the special pancake tuesday show tarp in case there are any accidents. >> sometimes those are the best part of pancake tuesday. who knows where a spatula would end up? >> i wouldn't tell that to the staff. >> your face is a wrath of sorrow. >> all right. >>> let's welcome our guest. i am here with jeddidiah. author and political commentator. she is so cute she ma
play. then you get slaughtered because you don't have the best guy in there. america is the best guy. >> i was also surprised when germany hung out there. who would have thought germany would be like, we are worried about the bombing and violence might be handled. we are stepping aside on this one. >> isn't that comforting? isn't that a little comforting to know germans are wooses. they are not restoring military might. i like this intervention thing. >> that's my kind of germany. i don't like the other kind. >> i don't know what that means. >>> from libya to liberals. as you know the main mission of media matters is to obsessively monitor fox news. but now claims the washington post, an actual paper, the employees are being trained to be on tv to portray their loop pea outrage as something more than manufactured and somewhat loopy outrage. these anti-fox freaks were shown the media ropes with the help of instructors from the progressive talent initiative. in an efforts for lost ground. we don't have tape from the training, but we want to reenact the first day of the seminar. yeah, a
's what america wants. >> best movie of the year, greenberg, and nobody saw this movie. the best movie. nobody even knows what we are talking about. to the greg-alogue. it is a daisy of delight in a greenhouse of ghastliness. so it is like penthouse forum minus the sex. a writer brings up something called fox geeser syndrome. your elderly parents are politically energized thanks to watching fox news. he slams his mom and i don't know when it happened, exactly, but she began peppering our conversation with red-hot remarks. i would try to engage her, but unless i shared her particular judgment and her outrage, she thought i was a dupe or a rhino. i found myself having to steer our phone conversation away from politics and current events. so now they are reaction areas. ramsey has a point. for many people beck has been an energizing influence. some are reading more and buying more books. others are investing in food storage. i bought an under ground trampoline made of gold. your parents are stupid because they are easily swayed by tv. and because they didn't have strong opinions before, t
and inevitably america falls which to the left is better than putting up a fight. if you disagree with me, you sir are worse than hitler. >>> michael, welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> did anything i say make sense? >> no. >> i have no idea. were you talking about libya? >> yes, we are. >> it is a great country. yeah, i agree with -- i am worse than hitler because i acknowledge this. i do disagree. let me just hone in on that thing i agree with. walking up here to your lovely studios i walked by an international answer protest. do you remember these? they love north korea and stalin and who doesn't? if they are on one side i have to be on the other despite the fact i totally disagree with you. >> they are consistently wrong. that's nice, i guess. they come to be so reliable. diane, did obama act too late or was he prudent in taking his time? >> i don't mind the fact he took his time and tried to round up external support. our finances are stretched thin and i don't really have a problem with getting other people together. getting other countries together to help bear the burden both financ
and central and south america, huge swath of the pacific under a warning -- sorry, it is a watch. you are talking about the warning in affect for hawaii and those people being told to evacuate. i qanlt to go back to david piper. he used to live in tokyo. he has been through earthquake situations like this, but not quite like this. right, david? this is unlike anything you ever saw there. >> yes, in japan. i came from southeast asia which is comparable when you see the tsunami warnings. it hit africa, sri lanka, india, and berma. it is a concern that other countries could be affected. >> as you are looking at these pictures, the death toll is up to five. and as you look at these homes being swept away you can only imagine how much worse it can get. you covered the 2004 tsunami and it took days, it took a longtime for them to really understand just how many people had lost their lives. >> there is a fear the death toll could rise considerably. the real action now is to try to save the living. the japanese prime minister says they have to help each other because the emergency services ar
% of all the english teachers in this prefecture are from america and rest being english, australian and new zealand. >> chris: a lot of people in united states may not be familiar with prefecture? caller: it's basically a smaller state, like a province almost. you can equate it to a state maybe. >> rick: harrison is teaching english in japan and been through quite a lot over the last 24 hours. good luck to you harrison. i know you are trying to get your mother-to-be able to visit with her. she is flying over from colorado. the best to her as well and thanks very much. keep us posted, will you. caller: no problem. >> rick: as we take a look at the devastation and these pictures, it's almost too much to look at. we're getting some word the japanese troops are leading what is being called a massive rescue operation in some of the country's hardest hit areas. 50,000 troops will attempt to free people from rubble and debris. we've been hearing stories over the last 24 hours of people who were gathered on the rooftops of shopping malls and schools trying to get to higher ground obviously
-- it is obviously not true. >> but like two months ago, nobody in america gave a crap about mubarak. and then he became like the worst person in the world. >> and we are turning a blind eye to the on going abuses happening against muslim children at the hands of their own government, and it is shameful. it is the green light that they should continue with their activity. >> and i don't think we made a deal with the devil here. kathy lee gifford had nothing to do with it. >> so true. >> john, what do you think qaddafi -- when do you think qaddafi lost his legitimacy? >> when the sunglasses went up in the official portrait. >> to be fair, he came to power in the 70s when that thing was cool. >> with the leisure suit. >> now he just looks like a stupid hipster. >> wait. he didn't start wearing soul glow until 2005. >> but he had the sunglasses in the 1970s. >> and the pill box hat. very jackie. >> and he cross dressed for about three years. can't forget that. >> that was hip in the early 90s. >> what happened was he stumbled on to a bootleg of "boosom buddies." he thought that was the trend. he did
Search Results 0 to 22 of about 23 (some duplicates have been removed)